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Health & Fitness

Getting Started in the "Pet Care Biz"!

Pet sitting. A simple notion. Sit on someone's couch and watch reruns of Jersey Shore while their dog stares strangely at you from his designer dog bed by the coffee table. Put some food in the bowl before you leave and collect your $5. Who can’t do that? You’d be surprised to know. The question is, do you have what it takes? I know, I know. You like animals, so why not? Well why don't we go out on the road and take a closer look. Then you can decide for yourself. I’ll be here to guide you along the way. Don’t worry, you’re in good hands.

Wake up @ 5:30 AM and go to job #1 of 15 on the day. Accept responsibility for the $800,000 home you have just entered, its contents, and of course, the animals that reside there. You should purchase insurance before you take another step.

 Got your keys? Tagged in code so that if you ever lost one it couldn’t be traced? Good. Enter…Wait! Is there an alarm? You obtained the code before the client left town right? Ok, good. Now enter.

Assess the dog's well being and be sure that she did not get into anything she shouldn't have over night. This wouldn’t be your fault but you’ll get blamed. She did? Oh no! Is it something that can be repaired? Ok, you’ll have to repair it or have it repaired. Incur the costs. Before that, you should determine that it will not cause her harm – that she did not ingest any of it. It will? She did? Off to the vet. Incur the costs. She was in your care, after all.

 She didn't? It won’t? Ok, continue…

 Inspect the house for damage or broken entry during the night. All clear? Great. Walk the dog. Defend against other dogs who may not walk as well as her or who are altogether left off leash. This happens daily so be prepared. Dog fight? Dog bite? Off to the vet. Incur the costs.

 No dog fight? Ok, continue…

 Return to the house, feed the dog, water. Why feed after the walk? Bloat. Unlikely but you don’t want to take the chance. Include her pill meds which she is too smart to eat in her bowl. Insert pill directly into her mouth. Got bit? Darn. Keep trying. She has to have her heart medication or else...Off to the vet. Incur the costs.

 Pill finally consumed? Ok, continue…

 Clean litter box, add fresh food and water for the cat. No cat? Better seek her out. What if something happened overnight? Here kitty, kitty, kitty. Check every room, under every couch and every bed, check every closet and behind every hanging suit. Check the cabinets and the cupboards, even the garage. Check the fireplace, check the attic, and check the washing machine. (I've found cats in all of these places just so you know).

 Found her? Ok, continue…

 What? She’s a diabetic you say? Better prep some insulin. Whoops! There she goes! Off to find her again. Running out of time now. Have to be at job #2 of 15 by 6:15AM. Found the cat. Injection successful!

 Couch N Cuddle time for both now. The need to feel loved more than anything. Disagree? You’re in the wrong profession. Have to leave now. But it’s so hard. The dog is sad :( “Don't worry, pup!” you say. “I'll be back at noon. We'll do it again!” Set her up so she's safe and comfortable while unattended.

 Lock the door. Lock it! Check that its locked. Return the key to your key ring! There should be 42 of them on there for this week.

 Wave to the neighbors. Yes, wave to the neighbors. They’ll say you were only there for five minutes if you don’t. Neighbors want to feel neighborly and will sell you out to do so. Now Wave!

 Off to job #2. Repeat. Adjust to job details as provided by client. 

Not bad for your first job. Now do this 7 days a week, every weekend, holiday, morning, mid day, afternoon, and night. Accumulate 25,000 miles per year on your car. You can ask Mobil for a frequent fuel price but they won’t give you one. Leave your brother's wedding early so you can walk the Smith's dog. Skip your cousin's confirmation so you can clean the Bryson family’s bird cages. Pop in for a quick "Hello!" on Thanksgiving dinner. Grab a hot sliced turkey sandwich, kiss mom, thank dad, pat the family dog on the head, give him a piece of your sandwich, and head out to get subcutaneous fluids into the Betencoff’s 23 year old cat. Tired yet? Now you’re getting the picture. So you’ve done well so far my young pad-wan. Your training is far from complete, however. You should be prepared for much more harrowing events in the future. You will here from me soon. Be prepared.

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